Frustration!

Baby is in the mood to buy things.

Baby is desperately looking for things.

Baby cannot find things!

Baby is getting frustrated!

I really want to buy a new dress. Similar to my red and white one in the sense that it's cute and babyish but not creepy! Now, I've been searching everywhere! Usually I go to ebay as all my things (minus my onesie) have been bought there and it's come up trumps many times. But not at the moment.

It seems at the moment everything is catered towards sissys - so it's a satin, frilly and a little OTT (no offence to sissy tastes, it's just not that I'm looking for) or it's for a little boy - firetruck onesies, Dinosaur pj's and shortalls.

I just want a plain pretty dress! A little girls play dress, something cute, girly and literally just like a baby's dress made bigger.

Eventually I found a dress - pink with a small peice of Broiderie Anglaise across the waist - simple but effective. But I've had to ship it from America so it's going to be a while before it gets here.

Now, there are many websites with loads of dresses on them but it's very hard to know which ones are still going! Which ones have good service? and which ones happily take your money but send you nothing (because they've closed down but failed to mention on their website)?

Also, websites tend to be more expensive.

Now, Cosy 'n' Dry were good - I was very impressed with their service and my onesie is lovely and comfortable and babyish but they don't have many dresses on there.

I haven't used any other websites but i've heard horror stories from many - people buying outfits and not getting their product, ordering an outfit and receiving it months later etc.

It seems I am stuck to the outfits I have at the moment. And that is really frustrating! I just want to know I can buy things, things for little girls! I know we are a minority but we are still around! So surely we should have more options available than pink onesies and the very occasional girl dress.

So, the point of this post;

Does anyone know of any AB clothing sites that are still going? Do they have good service? Are they a reasonable price? They don't have to be specific to what i'm looking for really, but just knowing which site are good would be useful so I can keep an eye out.

I would appreciate any information anyone has, preferably someone who has used the website and has had a good, easy experience, but again, any news is welcome! Even if it's just to mention which sites should be avoided.

Thankyou in advanced!

Stay padded babies!

xxx

Honesty

I'm sure any Adult Babies who read this blog must think that I have the perfect set up to satisfy my baby needs. I have a daddy whom I love, I get indulged beyond my wildest dreams and have a boyfriend who totally accepts and embrases this side of me completely. I know I could explain any fantasy scenario to him and have him accept it. He may not want to take part, or may not even be able to take part, but I know he accepts it. Some of them he may not like the idea of, but I know he accepts it as something that I consider and would possibly like to try.

He tries everything to make sure I am as happy a baby as possible.

And I in return only wish I could make him just as happy as he makes me. Maybe I do, I sincerelly hope I do.

However, as an Adult Baby you have to get used to the double edged blade that is this fetish.

We've all dreamed of finding a partner that accepts us for who we are. We've spent many nights imagining all the baby days we could spend with out partners; all the nappy changes, all the feedings and most importantly, all the cuddles. Trust me, the cuddles are possibly more important than the parifinalia. Who needs a crib when you have someone's arms around you, accepting you as you lye there in the most vulnerable state you can possibly be in?

And some may say I am extremelly lucky for finding that person. And I am. I will never say I am not lucky. I will never not completely appreciate everything Daddy does for me. What I have found is rare and I know it.

However, this does come with its own set of problems. They are babies own problems. It's not something your partner does wrong - after all, when role playing their aim is to make you a happy and satisfied baby. And we as babies, lye there and let them.

And here is where we come to the problem.

You have to force your partner to look after you, to cater to your every whim, to disregard their own wants and desires for a time and completely focus their attention on you.

They may not want to. They may prefer an evening cuddled on the sofa watching movies, but you may have a really strong urge and just feel you need to be a baby for a night so, as selfish babies we have to make a compromise. We will watch a movie, aslong as we can do it padded. We will go out on a date night if it means we can sleep padded that night. We will have dinner with your parents if it means a padded weekend, etc.

It is an entirely selfish fetish.

I am often completely wracked with guilt, either just before or just after baby play at how selfish I have been. I'm sure i've forced Daddy into babying me more than once when he hasn't actually wanted to. I'm sure he's been left frustrated when, planning an adult weekend, i've turned up with nappies in my bag and worked them into the mix through pleading and strops. He's always taken it well, never complained, always indulged me and allowed me to sleep atleast one night padded, then he'll change me in the morning and we'll carry on as normal.

But I can't help but wonder if secretly, he's resented it a little. I know he'd never mean it in a bad way, but it's completely understandable if he's been left annoyed - just wanting a weekend to relax and instead he's been left with a little baby girl demanding constant attention.

Believe it or not Babies, there was a point to this post and that is, don't take it for granted. If you have a mummy/daddy/care-giver, please appreciate them to the fullest as there is alot they have to put up with catering to our demands. It takes alot of time and energy, so please, do something back for them afterwards.

To make a baby/care-giver relationship work there has to be alot of compromise - alot more than in a 'normal' relationship.

I appreciate what I have every-single day and sometimes I don't let that show as much as I should. I truely love my daddy and everything he does for me, he's amazing. I just really hope he knows that.

So fellow babies, if you have a care-giver, let them know just how much they mean to you. If you are babies still dreaming of a care-giver, please take my advice to heart. We can be extremely selfish little babies, so make sure when you have a mummy or a daddy, you let them know how much you appreciate their hugs and kisses.

I'm certainly going to try harder to make sure my daddy knows.

Until next time Babies,
Stay padded and safe,

LittleABgirl,
xxx

Weekend Fun

I had a break from University recently so I went home, which is where I keep all my supplies - nappies, onesie's and most importantly, my new dress.

Needless to say I was really excited to get back home so I could have a few baby nights and chill out.

Unfortunantly I have come to a regression block. I now need two things to make me regress; my dummy and my Daddy. Having neither (dummy was with Daddy) I found it almost impossible to regress. I made multiple attempts - dressing in onesie, putting on thick nappy, drinking from a bottle and putting on a Disney movie but it never worked. I got close a few times, but could never go the final distance and find my baby state.

Needless to say this was extremely frustrating! I told Daddy about it and neither of us could come up with a way to fix this problem. So, after a week of trying I just gave up.

Before going back to university I went to Daddys for the weekend for a nice relaxing, adult weekend.

He had other plans.

On friday we had an hour or two snuggling and talking as adults before Daddy stripped my trousers off and padded me up in a tena. As it was early evening and we had to go to the shops, he dressed me back in my adult clothes and we went out. Whilst out at the shops I wet, which was worrying as I was convinced I was going to leak. The jeans I was wearing were really tight and didn't allow much 'soaking' room. Luckily it held up and I remained dry (on the outside atleast).

Then we went back home, had dinner and watched a movie with a friend. By the time the movie had ended I had wet three times and my nappy was getting pretty full.

When the friend left daddy changed me into a dry nappy, popped my dummy in my mouth and held me as I fell asleep.

When we woke up I was dry but, as we stayed in bed for a little bit I eventually wet. Daddy then dressed me in my new red and white dress with matching nappy pants (over my wet nappy) and fed me toast fingers for breakfast as we watched T.V. When breakfast was finished I laid in Daddy's arms as he fed me a bottle, eventually I became so comfy I fell asleep against his chest.

It was such a lovely weekend and i'm so greatful to Daddy for letting me be his little baby girl again.

Love you lots Daddy.

xxxxx

Belated sum-up

Baby here!
There's been a lack of posts lately so I thought I would give a general sum-up of Daddy and my-owns activity within the last month.

Well Valentines day was certainly a day to remember!

Daddy promised to treat me as a real baby for a day. Boy! Did he deliver!

I got fed, changed (multiple times), cuddled, bottle fed....well, basically everything I could ever want. It was brilliant! I really felt cared for and loved and I don't think I have ever regressed so completely before, it was amazing! Got to wear my new onesie and it was so comfy! From cosy 'n' dry - fit like a dream, lovely material, soft and warm, and it arrived really quickly! I would happily recommend them to all babies and Dl's! Daddy said I looked really cute.

I am the luckiest baby-girl ever!

Also, i've just ordered a dress from America - a cute little red and white dress with lovely matching knickers/nappy-cover. Can't wait to get it!

Nappy costs

As requested on ADISC, here are the costs for each nappy.

Cuddlz

Delivery is £5.95 no matter what (so I've added to the cost of each nappy). They don't appear to ship outside of UK as standard, but I've translated the cost for comparison.

• 40: £39.99 - £1.15 p/d (€1.32 $ 1.79)
• 16: £19.99 - £1.62 p/d (€1.85 $2.53)
• 8: £11.99 -£2.24 p/d (€2.56 $3.49)
• 2: £3.99 - £4.97 p/d (€5.69 $7.76)

Bambino (free delivery in US)

• 48: $65.96 - $1.37 p/d (€1.00 £0.87)
• 16: $28.48 - $1.78 p/d (€1.30 £1.14)
• 2: $7 - $3.50 p/d (€2.55 £2.23)

So Cuddlz are slightly more expensive per diaper than Bambinos, which is a shame, but not too bad - bearing in mind Cuddlz used to supply Bambinos at twice the price as in the US!

ABU Super Dry Kids

Delivery is £3.95 no matter what. Bigbabyfun are not a licenced supplier, so they only sell one size and pack.

• 10: £19.99 - £2.40 p/d (€2.74 $3.75)

They also sell Bambino, again, one size and pack.

• 8: £15.99 - £2.49 p/d (€2.85 $3.89)

ABU Official (no info on website, but Google claims $14.99 shipping)

• 10: $21.95 -$3.70 p/d (€2.71 £2.37)
• 20: $40.95 - $2.80 p/d (€2.05 £1.79)
• 40: $75.85 - $2.28 p/d (€1.67 £1.46)

So it's not too much difference in price for ABU in UK or US (although US can get a crate and save a lot).
 
Conclusion

For UK babies, Cuddlz are the obvious answer - importing from the US isn't worth the cost (I emailed ABU and they claimed over £30 just for delivery). 8 Cuddlz vs 10 ABU, then it's close - but Cuddlz have the bulk buy advantage (and trust me, once you've tried them, you won't want anything less!).

For US babies, Bambinos are the best choice, even direct from supplier ABU are uber pricey! (Free delivery would bring the cost down a lot though - ABU, take note!)

I think the cost reflects the conclusion of the review - ABU are worth trying once, but you're better off with Bambino/Cuddlz in the long run!

Cuddlz and ABU Super Dry Kids - Review/Comparison

Hey all, Daddy here! As promised, here is a review of both Cuddlz and ABU Super Dry Kids nappys!

 

As you can see, folded up, they both are roughly the same thickness - however, the Cuddlz (left) are packed much tighter than the ABU - they will fluff up a lot more once opening!

 

Cuddlz have a rounded padding on the front and back, and apart from the elastic waistband, it's all padding on the front and the back. The leg guards are fairly high, and ensure a close fit around the legs. Whilst the picture doesn't show this, they have two small tapes. I have heard that Cuddlz might be the same manufacturer as Bambino - or at least they appear to be incredibly close.

 

The ABU have a more rectangular padding, and there is no elastic waistband, so I can't help but feel they could have put more padding - especially on the front. They also have the single large tape, but it is very low, leaving the top of the nappy as wasted plastic.

  

 As you can see, the Cuddlz have a plastic landing zone, running across the front of the nappy. I have also been told by Cuddlz that they are planning to add a printed design this year! The front wings also folds around the body really well, ensuring a tight fit.

 The ABU also have a plastic landing zone, but the wings are a bit shorter, so don't wrap round as far. The wings are also a bit thinner than the Cuddlz, and are prone to tearing.

Again, the Cuddlz have a plain front to them, but the landing zone is massive. However, the wings will tear instantly if you try to remove the tape from them - so aim for the landing zone! The crotch area keeps it shape really nicely, and is wide enough to create a noticable waddle!

Credit to ABU, they certainly have cracked the babyish print - whilst I don't remember the nappies I wore as a child, these certainly cater to the AB side of me! The actual nappy plastic is much softer than the Cuddlz, which feels a lot more like a baby nappy. However, the crotch bunches up too easily, so walking is easy - they just aren't as thick as Cuddlz.

 

As mentioned earlier, the wings are really wide, and the tapes will easily reach round the waist for a tight fit! The leg guards create a snug fit, and help avoid leaks. However, they do feel a bit too firm, so can cut into the legs if not arranged right.

Both the ABU and Cuddlz are a "Medium" size, but whilst the Cuddlz will tape round almost on my stomach, the wings on the ABU just aren't long enough. The tapes only just reach round far enough to hit the landing zone - it might be that I need a "Large" - however I only have a 36" waist, so I don't know if this would be fixed with a new size. However, the leg guards on the ABU feel a bit more elasticy, and I think they give a better fit than the Cuddlz.

Absorbency

Cuddlz will easily take 2-3 large floods, and with each wetting they get incredibly soft and squishy - I can easily fall asleep in a wet Cuddlz, then wake up all happy and soak it again. I've also spent a morning in a wet Cuddlz, only changing when it wouldn't hold any more, and they were still comfortable.

ABU will bunch up and go firm after one wetting, which makes them really uncomfortable to wear for a long period of time. They also feel a lot thinner than Cuddlz, and I'm not sure they could hold a second wetting without leaking.

Fit

Cuddlz are incredibly snug around the waist, with the elastic waistband helping a lot. The bottom tape allows a good fit on the legs, then the top tape will secure around the waist. However, the tape position is key here, as a bad taping will make it far too loose on the waist. The crotch is incredibly thick, and definitely causes a waddle.

ABU have a good fit around the legs, with the leg guards helping here. However, the tape is too low on the waist - the top plastic (where the padding stops) is far too loose, you literally can fold it back inside. This means they do not hold to the body well, and need a pair of plastic pants or a tight onesie to stop them sagging.

Final Impressions

I will definitely be buying Cuddlz again. The absorbency and fit is unprecendented, and with a baby print, and softer plastic, they would be perfect. Whilst I initially thought one-tape was the way to go, Cuddlz just fit really snug with the two tapes. If it was possible to get a snug fit with one tape, then I'd want that on the Cuddlz. But until then, two tapes are great.

The ABU look and feel like a baby nappy on the outside - the soft plastic brings back baby memories, and the print is perfect. But I was let down by the poor fit, low absorbency, and I didn't get on with the waist at all.

In conclusion, for prolonged wearing, Cuddlz win. But if I was being babied, and would get changed very quickly, then ABU complete the AB picture enough to warrant buying. I would suggest that the ABU were used as a treat, and then Cuddlz for night time or multiple wetting.

I think the ultimate nappy would be the Cuddlz on the inside, but the ABU print and soft plastic feel on the outside. If one-tape can be fixed to give a greater fit, then I'd like that purely for the baby feeling - but until that happens, the two tapes are miles better.

In the UK, Cuddlz can be bought direct from www.cuddlz.com and ABU from http://www.bigbabyfun.com. Both are incredibly discrete, however Cuddlz seem to respond to emails quicker - I think bigbabyfun might just be someone running it from their house.

Public wearing

As mentioned earlier, last weekend baby and I went out in public... taped tight in an ABU. Unfortunately, my bladder let me down before we left the house, so my first public outing and I was soaked before I left.

I think there's definitely an air of excitement when out in public - but also so much worrying that it's obvious, or forgetting the nappy shows when I bend over - a mixed bag really! I think having baby with me helped me feel calmer - it's not really something I'd do on my own! But I do enjoy wearing with baby!

The problem was, by wetting beforehand, the nappy (which had been taped tight and snug), bunched up and pretty much crushed my manly parts... so after an hour I had to rush to a toilet to remove the nappy and save my bits! However, baby was dry when we left, and wet in Tesco without me knowing! She's a lot more experienced and brave than I am!

We shall see if next baby weekend I end up in public again - if I do, I'll certainly not wet before I leave!!!

Baby Weekend

(Sorry everyone - I will be adding reviews when I get a free weekend to wear/take pictures)

In the meantime, I thought I'd make a post about the baby weekend that baby and I had recently. After finding out I'd bought a pack of ABU, baby was incredibly excited to try them out - and as daddy, I was incredibly excited to see them on such a cute baby!

So our typical baby evening starts with a little bit of teasing whilst we're adults - "you ok baby?", "awww is baby going to be padded tonight?" etc etc. Then when we're ready for bed, I slowly undress my princess, lay a clean nappy down on the bed, and lift baby onto it.

Then, with lots of baby talk, and blowing raspberries, I rub cream onto baby's naked bottom, sprinkle on baby powder, then slowly tape her up tightly. A snuggle will ensue, then I dress her in her favourite onesie, carry her into bed, and snuggle all night long until she falls asleep.

Sometimes, I'll carry her in my arms, and feed her from her bottle - but no matter what we do, I always make sure I carry her in my arms as snuggly as possible, to ensure she feels incredibly small.

However, this weekend I added a little more to the mix - at 3 am, baby had soaked her ABU, so I woke from a deep sleep to take care of her - straight into a fresh Cuddlz with lots more cream and powder, then back in her onesie. I think it might have been one of the best sleeps we've had together!

In the morning, I woke to find baby had wet again, but the Cuddlz saved the day with their awesome thickness! We spent the rest of the morning snuggled - then baby suggested we both wear ABU out to the cinema... brave baby!

So all in all, a pretty awesome baby weekend, and I certainly feel closer to her with each day we're together!

Nappy Reviews

Apologies to anyone reading this from the US - I've decided to refer to diapers as nappies, seeing as I'm from the UK!

Anyway, I have ordered a pack of ABU Super Dry Kids, and have a few Cuddlz lying around - so I shall attempt a review/comparison of each fairly soon. For anyone not aware, Cuddlz are the UK version of Bambino (or at least they appear to be!)

However, one could argue I'm spoiling myself - I haven't yet tried any of the "normal" nappy brands, so am probably setting myself up for disappointment when I do!

Over-indulgance

I have over-indulged a little in the past few days after not wearing for a long time (other than the occasional times I can steal one off daddy) and now I suffer the consequences.

I have a rash.

That'll teach me I suppose!

*note to self; use cream and powder for next few changes!*

Long Distance

Daddy and I unfortunately have a long distance relationship. We see each other whenever possible, but sometimes life gets in the way and we have to make do with phone and email. However, poor daddy - I am a VERY needy baby! Don't know how he puts up with it! But somehow he does and he can make me feel warm and fluttery from many miles away.

And this is how:

*gently stroke your hair, and kiss your forehead, still rocking you gently until i can hear you heavily breathing*
*gently lift you to your crib, and start to tuck you in*
*i see your eyes open slightly, and you look scared*
"don't worry, you were just drifting off to dream land"
"daddy's moved you to your crib so you can have wonderful dreams"
*kiss my beautiful baby on the head, and tuck her in tight*
"sleep well baby, you're the best little girl ever "
"and daddy loves you very much!"

How awesome is that?!

This was the finale to what was basically an hour of pure fantasy.

I was being a bratty little baby, claiming I was a 'big girl' and didn't need my nappies.

Well, we all know that's a lie! And boy did Daddy proove it!

I got a spanking for being such a naughty girl and put firmly back in my nappies where I belong! Then Daddy held me as I sobbed from the result of my spanking, and let me know how much he loves me, then dressed me for bed in a clean nappy and a onesie, and held me in his arms until I drifted off to sleep. Then he put me in my crib (which is the part of the fantasy above) and littleabgirl was off to dream land.

I truely have the best daddy in the world!!!

Getting Started

I suppose I should start by introducing myself a little. I'm a 20+ AB girl. I have a wonderful boyfriend who acts as my Daddy and I couldn't be happier with him. He covered how we met so I don't need to go into detail over that, all I can add is that when I first saw him I knew he was the only person for me and embarassingly I threw myself at him and probably almost broke his back with the huge bear hug I gave him! Luckily he understood!

So, onto my childhood and how my fetish began:

I was the youngest of my many siblings and so was often a little ignored. I suppose that is how my infantalism developed. I know a lot of people often say the youngest gets the most attention and I don't know, maybe they usually do? However that is not how things were in my family. Anything I did as a child had already been done by my older siblings so was never anything special. There are very few pictures of me as a baby as my parents had already done the obsessive photo taking stage with the other kids. There aren't a lot of stories about me as a child, though I often ask. All I know is that I quite often had a cold and didn't like loud noises.

My parents, although loving in their own way, didn't openly show affection and would often work 6 days a week until late evenings so I quickly became self dependant. I was a latch-key kid from about year 4 (around age 8), walking myself home from school, staying in the house alone, going up the shops by myself, making my own dinner and just generally looking after myself. My parents didn't really show much interest in my school work as they just didn't have time. Also, through the lack of discipline at home - my eldest sister would quite often look after us when my parents were at work, I was beaten up quite alot by my brothers. They found it funny. I did not. I can safely say that a lot my childhood was probably spent in tears because of the bullying, both physically and verbally. At least that's how I remember it.

I don't remember a specific realisation of my desires. One of my earliest memories was of my mother and I in a supermarket. I was screaming and begging her for a pack of child sized nappies 'for my dolls'. She was ignoring me and marching away from my tantrum. That is one of my earliest memories and I suppose it cements the knowledge in me that I have always had these desires. I remember thinking up that lie about it being for my dolls, desperately wanting to wear those nappies for myself and deep down, feeling very embarassed and ashamed of myself. I was young at this time, around 5 probably, but I just knew I wanted those nappies for me and I had to have them.

I suppose these feelings began to disappear as I grew older, however I would always stare enviously at babies getting fussed over by their parents and wish I was them. Safe and secure and so obviously loved. As soon as I thought this however, the deepest feelings of shame and loathing would wash over me and I would inwardly berate myself for being such a freak.

When I reached puberty the feelings began to re-surface and again. I would squash them down, calling myself a freak, feeling like the only person in the world who could possibly think such thoughts and have such 'weird' desires.

One day, i'd say I was probably 16 at the time, I was looking through a magazine at the personals section, laughing, as you do, at the 'big chested female seeks well endowed male' adverts in my own immature way when I came across one add that struck me. Even today I can still remember it almost perfectly word for word; 'Genuine Adult-baby seeks mummy/mistress...'. Well, needless to say I was quite gobsmacked. I asked my mother what an 'adult baby' was and she explained; adults who like to act as babies, get looked after etc.

I was completely taken aback! The thought of other people actually wanting what I wanted? Having the same desires as me? It seemed impossible but there was the proof, literally in black and white on the page infront of me! I was so excited.

That night I searched the Internet and lo and behold, I found hundreds of AB/DL sites from all corners of the world! It was incredible! I was so happy! To know I wasn't alone was almost euphoric.

But then the shame came back and in a big way. I cleared my history, turned the computer off and skuttled off to bed deeply ashamed at myself. I spent most of that night telling myself what a freak I was and how I shouldn't think like this and want these desires, I mean, what sort of person wants to be put back in nappies? To be fed by a bottle? To be cradled?

For the next few years I struggled to repress the Adult baby side of myself however, once a month or so I would look again, a sneaky peak at one or two websites before the shame came back. Soon the temptation was too much and I was sneaking on the computer more and more, becoming once a forenight, once a week, once a day and slowly, the shame began to ebb away.

Through soul searching I realised that this is what I was. I couldn't help it, there were others like me and they seemed like reasonable nice people so why feel ashamed? I wasn't hurting anybody, I wasn't endangering anybody or anything and I wasn't breaking the law, so what was so bad about wanting to be a baby again? I just wanted to be taken care of again and so did they. What was wrong with that?

After reading a few essays by various psychologists I realised that my desires were probably a result of my independent childhood and latch-key lifestyle. This also helped me come to terms with what I was. I wasn't some weirdo or freak, I wasn't anything dirty, I was just a girl trying to regain some of the love and care I hadn't experienced enough in my childhood.

So slowly I began to experiment. I brought a pair of Tena pants from the local pharmacy, using the old lie 'they're for my elderly neighbour'. They were ok but not enough. Then I bought baby nappies - pampers size 6 and pull-ups size 5 - both fit but not very comfortably so it ruined the mood for me. I still enjoyed them but it felt like something was missing.

Then many years later I summed up the courage to buy Tena Maxi Slip and Lille's and lets just say, I've never looked back!

I now have nappies, a dummy that I am addicted to (as dl-daddy can tell you!) and a onesie. I also have a wonderful Boyfriend who not only understands my desires, but has them himself and knows exactly where I am coming from in my need for nappies. He takes care of me, often cuddling me, taping me into a nappy them wrapping me up and cradling me in his arms. Everything I've ever wanted.

We try to keep 'baby-time' in moderation though. We want our relationship to develop and don't want it to suffer through too much baby time and not enough adult time. So far it's working well for us and I hope it continues to do so.

So that is my story. Please don't think I want symathy or help. Just understanding that what we're doing, that is dl-daddy and I, we do not perceive as wrong or 'freakish'. We know why we do it, we can't help but feel the way we do and have the desires we do. But through each other we've found understanding and just hope other people can find that too, and if my story helps in that, then all the better!

xxx

Meeting littleabgirl

As I mentioned earlier, I met my girlfriend/little girl through Diaperbook. After getting my Bambinos, I decided to try to understand the lifestyle more by getting to know other AB/DLs - with the first step being creating a profile on the "lifestyle friendly" websites - Diaperspace and Diaperbook.

With the anonymous nature of the Internet, I felt safe enough to post a fairly comprehensive profile on both sites, and started contacting people in the UK to make friends. Whilst most of my attempts to make friends fell short of my expectations (no response, or very little), one reply caught my eye. She appeared to be friendly, polite, and someone I could talk to about things.

One thing I've learnt about contacting people online is that just because you're anonymous, you don't have to be a jerk! So a friendly message replying, asking how she was, how long she'd been ab/dl, which she felt she was, quickly turned into frequent messages - sometimes two or three a day. The key thing, is that the conversations weren't just about the lifestyle, we started to find out other things about each other, hobbies, likes/dislikes, friends, schooling, plans for the future - the sort of things you'd ask in general conversations.

Slowly, our talking diverted from mainly AB oriented, to discussing Uni choices, and actually being there for each other as friends. We didn't set out with the intention of dating, but after so many things clicked, it seemed the right thing to do. Well, to meet up at least!

After 4 months of messaging, msn, and texting (brave/stupid enough to swap numbers before meeting), we arranged to meet up - public place etc, following the usual rules. Now I guess littleabgirl will add her own perspective on everything fairly soon, but I have to admit, I never quite expected meeting up to actually work - yet the moment we saw each other, we already were holding hands, and it felt like fate had guided us together (I apologise to anyone who doesn't believe in fate etc)!

But regardless, we spent our first meeting just chatting, sharing concerns/reliefs, and by the end of the day had decided to officially "date" - whilst some may think it was too early, I've never clicked this easily with past girlfriends - so wasn't going to knock a good thing! And I'm certainly happy that I took the risk of meeting, as I've not only met a perfect girl, I've made a best friend! And I can only hope the same for anyone reading this blog.

Daddy

Origins of it all

Over the years, I have read countless stories regarding how people realised they were AB/DL/Sissy etc. If there's one thing I've noticed, there doesn't seem to be a common pattern per se - but everyone seems to have an event/experience in their childhood they can pinpoint for a possible reason...

For me, I have a few theories on why I am who I am. Firstly, I am according to my parents, a fast learner - reading before starting nursery, simple maths in kindergarten/reception class. All this contributed to a sense of being a "clever boy" - and needing to perform at my best, all the time, with the fear of disappointing Mum and Dad. So any acting young would quickly be discouraged - I was mature and polite and they were oh so proud of me, I didn't need to act like a baby!

Secondly, I am the eldest of three - so it was up to me to look after and be a good "Big Brother" for my Brother and Sister. Again, acting young was a bad thing, and I should be setting a good example for them!

Both of these parts of my childhood really discouraged being young, and that it was something wrong.

Furthermore, when I was in nursery, a child had an accident, and the teacher - who did favour me over the other children (for being well behaved etc.) - asked me in front of everyone, whether or not it was me who'd had an accident, and did I need changing? I remember feeling horribly embarassed that someone would assume I was a baby like that (of course my parents had potty trained me to be a big boy!)

Additionally, my Father would always threaten us with being put back in diapers - "if you want to behave like a baby, then I'll put you back in diapers and you can be a baby" - horribly embarassing at the time (though later in life I started to wish I'd called his bluff on it)!

So in retrospect, my childhood mainly consisted of growing up, acting mature, and not acting like a baby - or in other words, my childhood was just early adulthood! So I guess really it's not too surprising that I'm trying to reclaim the childhood I never had!

Daddy

My Story : dl-daddy

I apologise for the long post, but I thought it only fair to share the story of my "becoming" an AB/DL.

My first memory of diapers was at the age of 10 - my younger sister would dress her teddies in baby diapers - and whilst the details are unclear to me, I remember being in my bedroom, untaping the diaper from a teddy I had at the time, and trying to tape myself up. This is a self contained memory - the next I can remember is a few years later.

I must have just started puberty, and I remember waking one day after dreaming I was at a sleepover with my friend, and he brought diapers for us to wear. This was the first time I remember waking from a dream, and wanting to go straight back! The comfort and security my mind had created was a perfect experience, and I wanted to stay there forever.

At this point, we had one computer in the house connected to AOL (something I will never subject my children to!). Somehow I managed to get past its ridiculous content filtering, and after a lot of googling, found http://understanding.infantilism.org/. I must admit, at age 14, this was a very scary site - mainly because it explained everything I'd been feeling after the dream. Further web surfing cememented the idea that I was an infantilist - and the "rational" part of my mind decided I should tell my Mother about this.

This basically consisted of "I think I might be an infantilist... I had this dream etc and I think it's something weird about me." Followed by tears, Mum telling me it was just a dream, then a fair few awkward months where she'd ask me if I'd had more dreams... so learnt from that and never mentioned it again!

I hid the desires from myself until I hit mid teens, got my own internet connection, and boy, the websites had developed a lot by then! From here, I discovered Attends, the diapergals forum, and after a lot of soul searching, decided I was a DL. The appeal of the diaper wouldn't leave me, and when I was 16, I took the plunge and ordered a sample of Attends. After taping up, it felt perfect, and I quickly fell asleep content - only to be rudely awoken in the middle of the night by my bladder - ambitiously, tried to use the diaper, which didn't happen - off goes the diaper, up to the toilet, then an overwhelming shame at what I'd done.

Again, I hid the desires again until I started at University. At first, making new friends kept me distracted, but as I hit the end of puberty, the desires had reared their ugly head for good. I'd spend countless nights trawling AB forums and video sites, wishing I could wear again, but the shame of the last experience stopped me from trying.

So for most of my life, I was a DL online, but my real life didn't overlap. I just hadn't totally accepted that it was a part of me, feared sharing it with a partner, so tried to hide it from myself.

It wasn't until June last year, on one of my typical internet AB/DL sessions, I discovered Bambinos through adisc.org. At which point, possibly my AB side kicked in; I couldn't resist the idea of a babyish diaper - and ordered a sample. I had a fair few nights wearing in bed, with the best sleep I'd had in years - and when they were gone (no attempts at wetting however), then I was hooked. I was a definite DL, and possibly AB.

Again, through adisc, I discovered diaperbook, and met littleabgirl - whilst I will save the ins and outs of our "courting" for another post, one key thing from it was a deeper feeling of AB/DL inside - she opened my eyes, and helped me realise how big a part of me this is.

So I ordered a full case of diapers from cuddlz.com, and they've been sitting in my wardrobe for whenever the urges arise. I also do have a onesie and dummy for the times that I need to regress, usually when littleabgirl is paying me a visit!

But to conclude, I am finally happy with who I am, who I'm with, and the "secret" side to me. I generally will wear once or twice a month, with the addition of baby time with littleabgirl. It is not my intention to go 24/7; I treat this as a side of me to indulge when the time is right, with the fear of ruining a good thing with overindulging.

Daddy

Introduction

I will first start by making a few assumptions about the readers of this blog: either you are aware of the AB/DL lifestyle, or have stumbled upon this whilst trying to find out about the lifestyle. The reason we make this assumption, is that it will allow us to use common abreviations, brands, websites, without needing explanation. If this means you feel alienated, then feel free to leave a comment asking for clarification.

So who is "us"? As you can see from the contributers, there is myself, dl-daddy, and my girlfriend, littleabgirl. Our intentions for this blog is to have an open space to share our thoughts on the lifestyle, and any experiences we have surrounding it (either together, or individually).

We are both in our early 20s, and share a strong interest in the AB/DL lifestyle, however I tend towards DL/Daddy (but sometimes needing to regress into AB when Mummy is ok with it) , and littleabgirl is most definitely AB, and certainly knows how to play games with Daddy!

We met through Diaperbook, and after a few months of regular messaging/msn, discovered we shared a lot of outside interests, so met up and started a relationship together (albeit longer distance than preferred, but gives a great opportunity for individual posts.)

Here concludes the introduction, I hope you enjoy!

Daddy