My Story : dl-daddy

I apologise for the long post, but I thought it only fair to share the story of my "becoming" an AB/DL.

My first memory of diapers was at the age of 10 - my younger sister would dress her teddies in baby diapers - and whilst the details are unclear to me, I remember being in my bedroom, untaping the diaper from a teddy I had at the time, and trying to tape myself up. This is a self contained memory - the next I can remember is a few years later.

I must have just started puberty, and I remember waking one day after dreaming I was at a sleepover with my friend, and he brought diapers for us to wear. This was the first time I remember waking from a dream, and wanting to go straight back! The comfort and security my mind had created was a perfect experience, and I wanted to stay there forever.

At this point, we had one computer in the house connected to AOL (something I will never subject my children to!). Somehow I managed to get past its ridiculous content filtering, and after a lot of googling, found http://understanding.infantilism.org/. I must admit, at age 14, this was a very scary site - mainly because it explained everything I'd been feeling after the dream. Further web surfing cememented the idea that I was an infantilist - and the "rational" part of my mind decided I should tell my Mother about this.

This basically consisted of "I think I might be an infantilist... I had this dream etc and I think it's something weird about me." Followed by tears, Mum telling me it was just a dream, then a fair few awkward months where she'd ask me if I'd had more dreams... so learnt from that and never mentioned it again!

I hid the desires from myself until I hit mid teens, got my own internet connection, and boy, the websites had developed a lot by then! From here, I discovered Attends, the diapergals forum, and after a lot of soul searching, decided I was a DL. The appeal of the diaper wouldn't leave me, and when I was 16, I took the plunge and ordered a sample of Attends. After taping up, it felt perfect, and I quickly fell asleep content - only to be rudely awoken in the middle of the night by my bladder - ambitiously, tried to use the diaper, which didn't happen - off goes the diaper, up to the toilet, then an overwhelming shame at what I'd done.

Again, I hid the desires again until I started at University. At first, making new friends kept me distracted, but as I hit the end of puberty, the desires had reared their ugly head for good. I'd spend countless nights trawling AB forums and video sites, wishing I could wear again, but the shame of the last experience stopped me from trying.

So for most of my life, I was a DL online, but my real life didn't overlap. I just hadn't totally accepted that it was a part of me, feared sharing it with a partner, so tried to hide it from myself.

It wasn't until June last year, on one of my typical internet AB/DL sessions, I discovered Bambinos through adisc.org. At which point, possibly my AB side kicked in; I couldn't resist the idea of a babyish diaper - and ordered a sample. I had a fair few nights wearing in bed, with the best sleep I'd had in years - and when they were gone (no attempts at wetting however), then I was hooked. I was a definite DL, and possibly AB.

Again, through adisc, I discovered diaperbook, and met littleabgirl - whilst I will save the ins and outs of our "courting" for another post, one key thing from it was a deeper feeling of AB/DL inside - she opened my eyes, and helped me realise how big a part of me this is.

So I ordered a full case of diapers from cuddlz.com, and they've been sitting in my wardrobe for whenever the urges arise. I also do have a onesie and dummy for the times that I need to regress, usually when littleabgirl is paying me a visit!

But to conclude, I am finally happy with who I am, who I'm with, and the "secret" side to me. I generally will wear once or twice a month, with the addition of baby time with littleabgirl. It is not my intention to go 24/7; I treat this as a side of me to indulge when the time is right, with the fear of ruining a good thing with overindulging.

Daddy