Origins of it all

Over the years, I have read countless stories regarding how people realised they were AB/DL/Sissy etc. If there's one thing I've noticed, there doesn't seem to be a common pattern per se - but everyone seems to have an event/experience in their childhood they can pinpoint for a possible reason...

For me, I have a few theories on why I am who I am. Firstly, I am according to my parents, a fast learner - reading before starting nursery, simple maths in kindergarten/reception class. All this contributed to a sense of being a "clever boy" - and needing to perform at my best, all the time, with the fear of disappointing Mum and Dad. So any acting young would quickly be discouraged - I was mature and polite and they were oh so proud of me, I didn't need to act like a baby!

Secondly, I am the eldest of three - so it was up to me to look after and be a good "Big Brother" for my Brother and Sister. Again, acting young was a bad thing, and I should be setting a good example for them!

Both of these parts of my childhood really discouraged being young, and that it was something wrong.

Furthermore, when I was in nursery, a child had an accident, and the teacher - who did favour me over the other children (for being well behaved etc.) - asked me in front of everyone, whether or not it was me who'd had an accident, and did I need changing? I remember feeling horribly embarassed that someone would assume I was a baby like that (of course my parents had potty trained me to be a big boy!)

Additionally, my Father would always threaten us with being put back in diapers - "if you want to behave like a baby, then I'll put you back in diapers and you can be a baby" - horribly embarassing at the time (though later in life I started to wish I'd called his bluff on it)!

So in retrospect, my childhood mainly consisted of growing up, acting mature, and not acting like a baby - or in other words, my childhood was just early adulthood! So I guess really it's not too surprising that I'm trying to reclaim the childhood I never had!

Daddy